loneliness

Seeing my blindness

Dear D

You’ve made my life hard this week. I’ve been trying to be aware that what I feel in times like these is not ‘normal’. That is, there are times when I do think clearly and have motivation. I am not always blinded to reality, exhausted, and feeling alone. I know this time will pass, but that does not make it easier, it only gives a thin ray of hope that this is not the end. In the meantime, I try to be gracious with myself and facilitate many distractions to make things more bearable. I have an insatiable drive to achieve, yet inadequate resources to even attempt satisfaction.

I still don’t know how to make friends with you when you make the mundane aspects of life like walking through quicksand. I don’t even know how to figure it out. You move cloaked in mystery, but I feel you pressing me down. I am, at best, an ambivalent acquaintance, and at worst, a sworn enemy. Logic tells me there is a way forward, but my eyes fail me as to where it is.

Walking by faith,

Tami

 

This post is part of an ongoing series called ‘Dear D’. Click here to view all posts in the series.